2014/10/28

Why are you painting that door yellow?

Watson: "Why are you painting our door yellow Holmes?"
Holmes: "It's a lemon entry my dear Watson."


(Barry Crier and Count Arthur Strong)

2014/10/21

Tricked Again!

I should have payed more attention. I should have been more suspicious. And yet I agreed to go and see a film I'd never heard of at an arty cinema in Legnano. It was "Il Giovane Favoloso" ("The Fabulous Youngster") about the Italian poet Leopardi. And my God it was long, boring and depressing. Here's the poster so you know what to avoid:


During the titles I saw it had been presented at the Venice Film Festival. "Oh ohhh," I thought. Then I saw that about 13 banks and 2 local councils and a TV company had financed it, I realised I'd fallen into a trap again. Having to get money from so many sources to make a film usually means the film will be no good.

So here's how to avoid films like this:



Be alert! It could save your life!


2014/10/15

Proof of the existence of God in four simple steps. Arrrrrrgh!

I've told earlier of my hallucinogenic paraphenelia (earplugs and eye coverings for a midday nap) and normally I enjoy the strangeness of the visions which come. But yesterday I saw four steps of logic which proved the existence of God. (Not Anselmi's...



...much better than his).

As my dreaming brain considered the proof, my heart started beating faster, I got scared and annoyed. I struggled to wake up, which I finally did with a start. Of course I could not remember a single step of the proof. But I remember each step cutting into my brain/mind like a metal claw...

2014/10/10

A Timeless and Universal Lesson Taught by Nature

The cat (I'd like to say our cat but he won't let me) went into the garden and saw a squirrel on the grass a few meters away. Immediately the cat went into "I'm a hunting tiger" stance (despite his weight problem). The squirrel looked at the cat and the cat looked at the squirrel. Here they are in other circumstances:





A few years ago the cat could get to the top of trees 12 meters high, and sway in about in the wind fearlessly. I was so surprised I took a photo (from the third floor):




Then he discovered a nice restaurant on the first floor of our building, a lady who feeds him till he bursts.



So the cat looked at the squirrel and the squirrel looked at the cat, then the squirrel zipped along the grass and up a tree followed by the small podgy tiger. Up the tree the squirrel went. The cat tried it too, but got only a couple of meters before giving up and falling to the ground, breathing heavily and sweating a lot (I imagine).



"So, what is this 'timeless and universal lesson taught by nature' then?"



Keep a check on your Body Mass Index if you want to eat squirrel sandwiches for lunch.




2014/10/03

The flower is dying...

The flower is dying...


...but the seeds are getting ready to fly away...


PS: I thought I'd post something happy after all my whining.
PPS: I thought only dandelions had seeds airplanes like this.